The divorce rates are so high now. We seem to be reduced to a 50-50 chance at happiness after marriage!
I wonder if this is the result of a developed country. A quick glance at the world divorce records show that the current marriages in developed countries are nothing but a one day renewable contract.
Men never changed over the years (using never loosely here) but women now hold jobs and earn as much if not more than the men… so that means that while the men have been the ones constantly the same, the once docile, domesticated species known as women, started having the same privileges as men and then we find that women don’t seem to work as hard at marriage as all female ancestors. Modern women no longer have that “this is the man I marry, so his name is what I will carry to my deathbed, through everything” mentality (can it be called a mentality? Or maybe sickness (since the men then were pompous, conceited bullies))
Now it seems to me that the time has come when both men and women have to work equally hard at the marriage for our future generations to still associate “happily ever afters” with the all-wondrous word marriage used to stand for.
Men can’t sit back, earn money, have a fling or two at his whim and fancy and watch the women take care of the home and be content with putting bread on the table anymore. Women then used to have no income. They used to have no rights. They used to be a means to a family and a property to own.
They used to believe in fairytales and love.
Now women are life partners.
I used to think I come from a fairly normal and happy family till several years back. Maybe it was several years back when I really grew up and saw more than what I used to think was clearly defined shades of black and white.
What do I do when I am of age to marry? Why do we need marriage when co-habiting might just be almost the same, without the baggage? Oh no, listen to me! I call the whole telling-the-world-we’re-just-married-aka-wedding-dinner/party saga baggage. Gosh. And I thought I believed in romance and fairytales.
You know how the saying goes “it just takes one bad apple to spoil the barrel”. Indeed isn’t it? Sometimes I cross paths with the married people, with kids, and they go to work and they go home, and the next day they come back, they are still married. Sometimes I meet men who are really sweet to talk about their kids and wife.
But then the little nagging memory of the stories of those who aren’t as lucky to find their marriage vows sincere just keeps me jadedly thinking that there are more to the pretty married life some people tend to paint. The dark secrets nobody wants anybody to know.
And one more time I hear somebody ask me to go have a kid of my own when I say their kid is cute, I swear I will do something!!! BAD! Anything! Funny how I don’t know what exactly to do yet. Maybe try to emit lasers from my eyes subtly and halve the kid’s parents head horizontally. Messy. And not very subtle after all. Maybe something less the mess with twice the satisfaction. SIAO one leh!! Gosh, don’t they think about the dreams and goals I might want to do and accomplish before I settle down!?
I’m 24. My brother’s 14. The things that happen in my family and to the people around me do affect my outlook. Imagine my brother, whose world is being shaped right as we speak. Someone told me, the world’s a perspective, and perspectives form the world. Dead right.
I wonder what goes on in that seemingly empty shell (private joke) that he calls his head? What kind of a man will he be? Will he be wary of marriage?
My granny has the most amazing faith. She’ll tell me stories of the man my father was and the person he is today. The difference. The change. So, I ask her, if that’s the case, why would anyone get married? People will change and the divorce rates are high and all, but she told not to think so much and get married because there’s the other 50% chance of finding happiness.
Well it made me feel better for awhile and then I am back to my mambo jumbo – hence this post.
What are your views on marriage in the 21st century? Are you as jaded as I am?