My Attemps at Slimming

[This is a repost because I won Consolation Prize for this contest!!]

I am big. No hold it. Hold the nice words. Don’t say I am not fat. I am.

I wanted to show a picture of myself in 2005 when I was at my fattest ever… but I am really too cowardy to show it. It’s so painful to even look back!

Tagged Size L

I wear an L (sometimes XL and then I ban that brand of clothing) and I never let anyone know my real weight. Never. It’s a secret. Literally, a big one.


=(

It’s never fun being fat. If my clothes are too tight (which they often are) my fats will spill out and look unsightly… I’m sick of wearing black all the time. I have arm scallops so tube tops are out. Ya arm scallops. When I first heard of this term a couple of years back, I was depressed. With over-descriptive terms like arm scallops, buffalo humps and bat wings, one really needs little else to make another feel ugly.

Arm Scallops: Unsightly pockets of flesh that no amount of exercise seems to have been able to minimise – aka pudgy armpits
Buffalo Humps: Lumps of fat that bulge from the back of the bra. Eek!
Bat Wings: Also causing a flap are ‘bat wings’, or flabby upper arms.

How I tried to combat my less than ideal body

There are several ways women can fix their jiggly nemesis: liposuction, radiofrequency treatments, physical exercise and, if all else fails, hide behind clothes.

A common method offered by slimming centres is slimming via radiofrequency treatments. Although I have signed up for such a package with a beauty salon, I have yet to start utilising it! Wonder if it works though.

There has been many attempts at slimming in my life (though if you ask me, I’m on a life-long diet). I’ll like to share a couple out of the many I’ve tried.

The Atkins Way

And who hasn’t heard of the Atkins Diet? I tried my best to stick as closely to the diet plan as possible. Quite difficult if you ask me since I’m in Singapore where everything has carbs in them.
Just imagine. It’s time for lunch and I head to a food centre – Amoy Street Food Centre. 2 storeys big sprawling place right? Well, but I couldn’t find anything in low carbs. Char Kway Teow? Fishball Noodle? Fishball also have carbs in it ok!

No processed food allowed during the first week of induction. No fruits allowed cos they contain sugar. Yong Tau Fu? But that comes with processed fish meat in between the vegetables! Nasi Briyani? Economical rice? No sugared drinks too!

Trust me. I tried. I went round and round the food centre countless of times. Each time, I end up eating something that is not recommended in the induction phase!


Byebye carbs

There is this “Acceptable Food List” and the rule is to not eat anything not in the list! Salad. Yes that’s good. But tell me where to find a below $5 salad in Shenton Way? Meat. Yes that’s good too! But how can I eat $10 + meals every day for lunch? So I ended up alienating all my colleagues and staying in to eat my own prepared meals. Steamed broccoli, canned tuna in water, …. Needless to say, the invitations to join others for lunch became less frequent.

There was so much I couldn’t eat and so little I could. I was hungry most of the time and I even thought of getting the appetite suppressant, Duromine!


Food label

Don’t assume any food is low in carbohydrate—instead, I learnt to read labels. I had to check the carb count (it’s on every package) or practice agaration. During this same period, I also went for extra yoga classes.

The end result? I was trimmer but my weight remained the same. After I went off the Atkins Diet, my weight even went up! So depressing!

Diet Pills!

This is really quite ineffective and really, a lazy man’s weakness. There are plenty of pills out there in the market that boasts of many amazing things like blocking fat, blocking carbs, blocking calories… etc.. The list goes on. I tried the carb and fat blocker. Truth to tell, there were zero results.

“No need exercise! Eat all you want!” Yea, right.

The only difference was after eating the fat blocker, I pee’d oil and poo’ed some black stuff out. Toxics I guess. The 2nd and 3rd pill on didn’t have much visible effect.

Besides, let’s all not forget Andrea De Cruz and Slim 10 saga.

Lately…

… I’ve been contemplating with the purchase of a Wii Fit. Problem is, I don’t even have a damn Wii Console! Buying everything would set me back by quite a fair bit. I tried it out at my cousin’s place and it was damn fun! I even sweated! Imagine that! Maybe more frequent exercise would help me lose weight?


I can already see myself doing this!

How about the ability to annihilate fat without surgery?

Called cavitation, it is a new fat-breaking technology by Cenosis – something I’ve never tried. According to their website, cavitation breaks the fat cells membrane through the bursting of micro-bubbles. Often featured on Channel 8’s BioSkin show, Cenosis says that this new technology can target fat on certain body parts, and reduce it permanently – without any invasive actions.

Slimming technology today really makes slimming seem effortless. With 3 years of research to make this right and only doctors and physiotherapists with N2 license from NEA who can operate this machine… surely it’s something safe that’s worth exploring.

There are apparently a lot of other inferior machines similar to this out there in the market. But many of which are not able to penetrate deep enough into the fat cells area to hit the core of it all.

Cenosis is the first and only slimming centre to own this medical machine.


Cavitation in action – Complex fatty acids are broken down into simpler fatty acids and these simple fatty acids are then passed out from our bodies.

You know what this means? This means I can go look for these experts and get my arm scallops, my bat wings and my buffalo humps ANNIHILATED. Period. Now we’re talking! (Lol as I read this again, I couldn’t resist giving my arm scallops a bye bye squeeze.)

Make an appointment with Cenosis right now, to find out how you can benefit from this wonderful technology at a special price of $33. Call 7000 700 6626 or visit www.cenosis.biz/cavitation.php to make an appointment.

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Leave a comment

  1. Josephine
    August 19, 2009 / 5:40 am

    u fat meh?
    I gained weight… I really need to sign up for slimming course d…

  2. Ju Ann
    August 19, 2009 / 8:13 am

    fat 🙁

  3. lynn
    August 19, 2009 / 9:56 am

    damn this is such an enlightening post and i never ever thought you were fat! -_-

    I want to get wii to lose weight too.. you should try the other games..like cheerleading. it's very tiring

  4. chrisau
    August 19, 2009 / 4:24 pm

    lots of info here… good luck! I think lots of exercise (cardio and weights), eat lesser but more meals helps. Very simple….

  5. Ju Ann
    August 20, 2009 / 4:00 am

    lynn, so kind of you haha.

    ya the wii seems to be fun!

    cheerleading?!!? I think we're too old for that! where to find a group to join now?

  6. Ju Ann
    August 20, 2009 / 4:00 am

    chris: so easy to say lor! I love eating! 🙁

  7. Shingo T
    August 20, 2009 / 5:57 am

    I used to do DDR (dance dance revolution) at home. Sweat alot too, but sometimes I get complaints from neighbours living below my floor. =p

  8. Ju Ann
    August 21, 2009 / 3:21 am

    Shingo: hey me too! I loved that! till the stupid mat broke. then I quit. hahaha!

  9. Daryl Teo
    August 21, 2009 / 3:05 pm

    Enjoyed reading the post tremendously. Funny & light hearted yet covering all the bases. Just the way i like it! lol

  10. Ju Ann
    August 25, 2009 / 6:15 am

    daryl, tt's very sweet of you thanks!

  11. vialentino
    November 20, 2009 / 4:50 pm

    u r not fat ler…i met u before ler….hehehe…u r perfect!

  12. Ju Ann
    November 20, 2009 / 4:55 pm

    alamak via u so sweet hahaha

  13. Kelvin
    November 21, 2009 / 10:57 pm

    My size is XL before army…then M in army…then XL again after army…Maybe signing on is the best way? Got $$$ somemore…

  14. Anonymous
    April 11, 2010 / 11:55 pm

    whats up everyone

    just registered and put on my todo list

    hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.

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