Home » I don't usually.. but this is TOO DAMN FUNNY!

I don't usually.. but this is TOO DAMN FUNNY!

This is a too-funny-not-to-share list of SHIT to SHARE. Hahaha

Come mon, own up, what did you get today? =)
GHOST
You know you’ve shat. There’s shit on the toilet paper, but none in the toilet.

SLIDER
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don’t even feel it. No trace of shit on the paper.
You have to look in the toilet to make sure you did something.

MARS BAR
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your arse 12 times and it’s still not clean.
You end up putting toilet paper in your jocks so that you don’t stain them.
This kind of shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

ON SECOND THOUGHT
You’re all done wiping, and you’re about to stand up when you realise….you’ve got more.

ANEURYSM
The kind of shit that killed Elvis.
It doesn’t come out till you’re all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

DIET

You shit so much, you lose several kilos.

RIGHT NOW!
You had better be within 30 seconds of a toilet.
You burn rubber getting to the toilet.
Usually it has its head out before you can get your pants down.

KING KONG or THE CHOKER
This one is so big that you know it won’t go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks.

A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually occurs at someone else’s house.

CORK aka THE FLOATER aka an ex-colleague’s production (Sam) (Sorry inside joke. YIKES! Hahahahaha!)
Even after the third flush it’s still floating in the bowl. You think “SHIT” how do I get rid of it.

MAKING WAVES
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet.

WISH
You sit there all cramped up in the foetal position and fart a few times, but no shit in sight.

CEMENT BLOCK
You wish you had a spinal anaesthetic before you attempted this one.

SNAKE
This shit is fairly soft and about as thick as your thumb, and at least a metre long.

BEER AND PIZZA
This happens the day after the night before.
Most of the time your shit doesn’t smell so bad but this one is BAD….
usually this one happens at someone else’s house,
and someone is always waiting outside the toilet door.

THE MEXICAN aka SCREAMER
You will know it’s safe to eat again when your arse stops burning.

=) Have a nice day!
Follow:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *